Why You Need A Marriage Counselor

Many couples wonder if their relationship is worth fixing at all. Thousands of people live in an unhappy situation, pondering divorce or simply living in a perpetual state of disrepair. However, marriage therapy can help couples both young and old. You may feel set in your ways or that your early years of romance are completely unattainable. Perhaps you have become two different people. Yet, just as a police officer can de-escalate a domestic dispute, so does the marriage counselor diffuse an emotional bomb before you’re left picking up the pieces.

You should endeavor to find a marriage counselor to help you avoid painful emotional outbursts. If you or your spouse spends any amount of time shouting at each other, crying or getting stuck in a constant cycle of derision and nagging, then counseling for marriage can help. Secondly, certified counselors provide added motivation to complete your plan to regain that romantic love again. Sometimes another person’s faith that your efforts will be successful is all you need to believe it yourself. While these may seem like things you might be able to do on your own, the third reason to seek counseling is to gain access to knowledge and strategies to help you achieve your goals. Over the years there have been many studies into human behavior, which can help us recognize our patterns of behavior and remedy the underlying causes of our feelings.

Finding the right marriage counselor can be critical to your success. “Be sure you find someone you like and feel comfortable with. Finding the right person can make all the difference,” advises Dr. Ellyn Bader, founder of The Couples Institute. She recommends that you call around and rely on your intuition. “Does the therapist seem interested in you? Do they ask you questions to get significant information, or do they seem to be in a hurry to get off the phone?” Secondly, if there are other glaring issues in your relationship, such as abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental health issues or sexual dysfunction, then you must find the counselors skilled in those areas. “Therapists often choose a niche that they are passionate about, and you can benefit from their additional knowledge and training in those areas,” says Stephanie Buehler, director of The Buehler Institute.

The cost of a marriage counselor varies greatly. Rates range from $75-$200 per hour, although some therapists will offer a sliding scale based on income. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the average cost for counseling is about $100 per one-hour-session. Typically, you’ll go in once a week for the first three months, which will run you $1200 for that period of time. Compared to psychiatrists and psychologists, family counseling is 60-80% cheaper. Additionally, the use of counseling for marriage has been show to reduce health care by 21.5%. Also consider that divorces range from as low as $1,500 for a wholly uncontested divorce to $30,000 if it goes to court. According to Smart Money Magazine, the average cost is around $8,000 for an out-of-court settlement. Suddenly seeking certified counselors sounds like a practical idea, doesn’t it?